Friday, 20 September 2013

Seven signs of aging

It fascinates me the amount of beauty products that are available that claim to help with the seven signs of aging.  My seven signs, (and believe me there are plenty more I could have added to my list) cannot all be helped by something in one pot.  I need a lot more help!!

ONE: My eyes!  They are still blue, and that is about it.  I now have to lubricate them with eye drops and require ready readers which are stashed all around the house, in my handbag, and glove box of my car.  My arms are no longer long enough and the small print seems to have got smaller, how is this possible??  But I am glad to say, I can still see and I don't miss much!!

TWO:  My ears!! My once cute girlish ears seem to be getting longer, I no longer hear everything and now use the words "pardon" and "what" more than swear words!!  Hard to believe but almost true.  My piercings are no longer sweet little holes but small slits, and I have a constant ringing.  But I can still hear and probably shouldn't have owned a walkman with headphones jammed in my ears (but what did my parents know)!!

THREE:  My skin!! I do not mind my wrinkles to me they are my rings of life just like a tree has but I wear them on the outside instead and proudly.  I have laughter lines not frown lines.  I have hand creams like my ready readers, everywhere!!!  I have lip balms and moisturises.  I bruise easily and bleed faster when I knock my skin.  But my skin is still managing to hold all my insides inside!!

FOUR:  Maintenance!!  My mother never told me about the facial hair that appears (Epic fail there mum!!).  So it is plucking, and waxing and shaving to contain this new stage of hair growth.  All I hope is that if  I am ever  in a coma some nice nurse will rid me of my pending beard and mustache!!

FIVE:  My Joints!!  I no longer roll and smoke but ache!!  I have knackered knees that click and grind and arthritis in my hands.  But I can still walk and use my hands even tho TOF is on jar opening duties now.  I massage fragrant oils into said parts of my body to help and it makes me smell good too!!

SIX:  Sensible stuff!!  Like shoes, for height I now do wedges not heels.  I trip over enough on the flat!!  No longer do I own push up or half cup bras, bikini or candy floss type underwear.  My bits  need support now, so full briefs (how can a brief be full?) and big girls bras, full cup and wired!!  My handbags are of a size to house all the essentials I seem to take with me, as shown above.  I couldn't possibly tuck all this into my bra when out like the younger girls do today!!

SEVEN:  My super powers!!  I no longer have eyes in the back of my head!!  I cannot hear around corners and into other rooms.  I cannot jump or run without feeling the need to have a nature stop. I cannot fool my lads anymore with my fabulous stories!!  But......

... I have and use technology which to me proves I still have a brain and an active mind!!  I also know my wit is as sharp as a tack, that my attitude to life is so much calmer and relaxed (that could be the meds from my Doctor, thanks Dr V), and that I am very very comfortable in my aging body that has served me well for 51 years.  I intend to be around to see in the ton, and then I shall haunt my family, it only seems fare!!


Vix said...

Ha! Fab read! It's all in the attitude, isn't it? as soon as you hear someone saying they can't do something any more 'cos they're too old it ages them instantly. x

Helga! said...

O, yeah, I'm seeing loads of signs myself, and am trying very hard to ignore them!!! But one does need to take it a little easier, particularly on the body!!! I feel the need for sensible shoes a little more often than I'd like......XXX

daiseedeb said...

I'm other side of 50 as well...can relate to these 7 signs! Embracing the the rings of the tree.
; )